That Moment

It seems that, once again, I have arrived at 'that moment.' The moment that makes it clear why some of my best friends say they are jealous of me half of the time and thankful they are not me half of the time. The moment when everyone waits to see what God will do, because the situation has become so dire that He is the only one who can do anything to make it right. The moment where fear, excitement, worry, eagerness, and a myriad of other emotions all clamor for attention in the murkiness that seems to shroud my life. We are at that point, you see.

I am flying tonight to New Hampshire. Tomorrow I will meet with senior HR personnel at Brookstone headquarters and undergo a nearly 7 hour 'assessment' that promises to be grueling and not a ton of fun. The next day I will be told the results, which are admittedly subjective. Assuming the results are good I will be offered a job. This job is one I would enjoy and would allow us to both pay the bills and stay in Ann Arbor. It is a substantially lower paying job than the one I left, but still very good and I would enjoy it much more.

The flip side is that if I don't get the job offer, we face financial catastrophe the likes of which I have not experienced since I was a child. For those who have known me for a while, that is saying something. I am committed to doing whatever is necessary to take care of my family, but without this position there is nothing in my current view that will make that in any way easy. That, of course creates challenges, both emotionally and spiritually of its own.

I must say that, maybe for the first time in my life I have felt a peace even in the midst of all this uncertainty. I can't explain the peace as it makes no earthly sense, but I am certainly thankful for it. My wife has commented on it more than once. Hopefully this peace is just an inner, unconscious confidence that God will place me where he wants me and a knowledge that I don't have to worry as long as I rest in Him.

So, I head off to the airport now to confront 'that moment'. Whee. :)